With the local team in the super ball, I decided to partake of some more Georgia Vintages.
After the rampant popularity of the last post, I decided to embark on more adventures in Georgia wine.
I figure they got to have Georgia wine. I dig around their wine selection. Don’t see anything marked “local.” So, I ask the clerk. The clerk goes, “Hmmmm, no one has ever asked me for Georgia wine. Let me get our wine guy”
Out comes the wine guy. I ask him, “Where is the Georgia wine?” He says, “Oh man, all that stuff is terrible.” I say, “Really?” He goes, “Look, people come in here for one of two things. Cheap stuff, which we got a ton of. Or top shelf stuff. We got $1,000 a bottle Chateauneuf du Pape in here. But, no one wants overpriced, terrible wine. Which is what most Georgia stuff is. If you want to try it, you have to go to Total Wine.
Undeterred, I go to Total Wine. I find their wine guy (I am sure he would prefer Sommelier), and he takes me to the Georgia wine selections, which, I shit you not, is right next to the Trump Wine. He asks me what do I like in a wine. I say my usual answer which is, “Dry red that hits you like a truck”
He sighs, “The only thing you are going to get is this,” and hands me one of the bottles I will review below. Then i say, “What about something more typical of Georgia wine” and he hands me another bottle.
For non Georgian’s, Chateau Elan is this snooty golf course/spa/resort situation east of Atlanta. Heather’s dad has played golf at their 3(!) courses.
Apparently, has grapes too.
Another fun fact, the fuckin grapes in this wine weren’t even grown in Georgia. Yuba, CA. Bullshit. This is total bullshit.
Why even do this. Why make wine where you got to source the grapes from clear across the god damn country? Makes no sense.
So, technically, the wine has some legs, but almost no nose to speak of.
To say this thing has a taste or a finish is a disgrace to both of those words. Do you remember that old Chris Rock bit?
Put some water in it, shake it up, mo tussin
This wine tastes like Mo Tussin. Just an mostly empty bottle of Robitussin, filled with water, shaken up.
Why did this have to exist? Tussin wine. Gross.
So, I asked the guy at my local liquor store why all the Georgia wine was so terrible. He had one word for me, “Muscadine.”
This sweet “grape” grows naturally in the south-eastern US, and no where else in the world. That leads us to
From the Chattanooga Valley, its 100% Muscadine. Yup. 100%
Ok, it took me a minute to figure out how to explain it. All the typical wine stuff is irrelevant. This is like Mike’s Hard Grape Juice.
Have you ever had fruit wines? Strawberry wine, Peach wine, etc. Its not really “wine”
No flavor development. No depth. Nothing that makes you think of wine. Its alcoholic Welch’s. Its easily the worst thing I have had so far.
I am not sure if I will do more Georgia wines…maybe…but man, whew. After this round. God damn it was bad.