On our first week that we moved in, we were greeted by the official welcome committee of the Home Owners Association. Included in their welcome package and further emphasized by both of them, the neighborhood had a very active closed Facebook group.

I knew this would be a worthwhile endevour, so I requested and was granted access by the president of my HOA (who, funnily enough, is my next door neighbor).

I have been following this group for over 2 months now, and the discussions break down like this (excuse the crudity of this pie chart. I am tired):

It’s true.

I have a story about the two largest categories (People comparing houses and Gossip about stuff nearby).

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People talking about keeping up their houses or comparing to the other houses in the neighborhood.

When I first joined the FB group, it was still deep into winter. And I wanted to see how the neighborhood fared during the ice storm.

Turns out well, but that’s not the point of the story.

In looking at January’s posts in the group, I found two posts about the house we bought. Noting the following

• The physical address
• How much we paid for the house
• The fact that we submitted an offer within 24 hours of it going to market
• The fact that we paid the house for cash

In regards to the offer, we just got real lucky, as I discussed previously. In regards to our method of closing, NO ONE should know that except the buyers and me. I mention it here cause now its all over the fucking Internets.

Well, three realtors in my neighborhood got that information and spilled the beans to the entire group. This lead to a crazy discussion trying to figure out (a) what made this house special, (b) who we were [including assumptions that we were local known well-to-dos], and (c) what they can do to reproduce the results.

Its an odd thing to see your home discussed as if its not a place where someone will live.

Its an even ODDER thing in that we have had a few random looky-loos come by the house who are very interested in who Heather and I are and what we do for a living.

Overall, I really dont know how I feel about it, but it leaves me with an uneasy feeling. Its like being the odd object, and I wouldn’t have even known if it wasn’t for FB gossip.

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Gossip about stuff in proximity of the neighborhood.

In my search for winter stuff, I noticed a ton of debate about a future animal hospital that is behind a gas station at the major intersection near the neighborhood. Would it bring more traffic? What is it like living near a vet office?

The CURRENT hotness is the former Wal-Mart Neighborhood Grocery.

It didn’t make it. 

This is the Shopping Center at the big intersection near my house. This walmart is gone, and there is a 10 post/almost 100 comment deep debate and investigation on what this would be.

At one time, it was speculated it could be a bowling alley. And there was much consternation about if it would be a nuisance to the neighborhood. Would it bring in, and this is a quote, “the riff-raff” into close proximity of the neighborhood.

When my neighbors say riff-raff, I assume they mean this guy.

Luckily, it was confirmed not to be a bowling alley and many sighs of relief occurred.

Here’s my beef. I get wanting to know whats going on around your neighborhood. If they were going to put “Loud-Ass-Baby-Screaming-And-Cat-Piss Emporium” in the Walmart spot, yeah I would be concerned.

But, this feels like a ton of energy exerted for what is likely to be another slice of suburbia. That’s a big ass like 65k square foot space. They aren’t going to put cool shit in there. Gonna be a fuckin gym or some shit.

But that’s not even the point. Its a strip mall. Being precious about stores in a strip mall feels like gilding the turd.

I am fully aware that I did read the posts in preparation of my little piece of nonsense, so that makes me no better I suppose.

Touche.

Anyway, Ill keep reading my local Facebook shame for more interesting mess here. Also, Ill let you know when Riff Raff moves to my neighborhood.